Antediluvians Everywhere
by Wicked R
Summary: (yet another) alternate to “The Girl in Question” (but this is my nefarious version, as usual). Everything is the same until the Immortal blows our two favourite vampires up. But then Buffy finds out a few things about Spike and his Sire’s past.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Antediluvians Everywhere

Author: Wicked R

This is just for my own and for the readers' enjoyment. Mutant Enemy owns the Angel/Buffy characters and the Universe. Mariska is the property of whoever came up with the idea of Dracula having brides (I was told that's Bram Stroker. We Transylvanians don't rate his book too high on the appropriateness stakes, so I never bothered reading it). Anybody cares who own Matrix? I think nobody should own it actually, because the ideas really existed in Socrates' time, even if the machines didn't.

Please email for comments and criticism. Cynicism is allowed too.

Universe: a Buffyverse/Matrix idea crossover

Genre: Angst/Romance/maybe Parody?/sorta mild slash (my first!). I could've got more scriptic, but I wasn't sure how much of it fits into the R rating.

Rating: R for the language and sexual references. You must've noticed, Buffy is a bit of a nymphomaniac, isn't she?

Pairing: mostly B/S, but also B/Imo, A(us)/M/S, M/Imo, reference to S/Fl, A/N and A/B.

Summary/Set: (yet another) alternate to "The Girl in Question" (but this is my nefarious version, as usual). Everything is the same until the Immortal blows our two favourite vampires up. But then Buffy finds out a few things about Spike and his Sire's past (I heard DB got the role of a bank robber and it made me think of Angelus doing so).

Thanks to Fred, the God of…for the beta (and other) services.

Note: oh, yes. I turned back to be my normal self. Wicked. You can I ask: and the point of that was? Well, I needed to play out the ideas in/from my head. Also, I've never been to Rome and not intending to. And of course, English is still not my first language, so don't slag me too much about grammar. What's the point of grammar anyway?

Spike unzipped the holdall to glimpse in, and instead of the head, a ticking bomb was inside, counting down in seconds. 0:05 — 0:04, "what the hell?" They raised their hands in a futile effort to shield themselves. Two seconds later everything seemed to freeze when they heard the ticking stop. At that instant a deafening cracking sound echoed all around them so that their "aaaa!" almost went unnoticed. The blast from the explosion blew them in two different directions. Car alarms blared all over the place. With a big hole in the pavement and a cloud of smoke, the bomb showed its victory.

Angel let out a yelp feeling a blinding pain, which of course couldn't be heard either. The pain went on and on, tearing through him so intensely that he couldn't even scream.

Spike stood up with a quick jump looking around at the burning debris from the explosion that littered the street. He brushed himself off, cursing about his ruined coat. Apart from that, there had barely been a scratch on his body no more than if he had cut himself shaving. As he stood he thought he could take out the sound of some very faint growling sound from all the deafening noise the cars were making. It came from Angel's direction, but he wasn't sure. As he started forward, the growling sound came again, louder and more distinguishable this time. More like a groan. Spike started walking over to the other side of the hole the bomb has caused to find Angel on the ground, "civilized country? Look what that squeaker did to my jacket! The Immortal is one of those people who would be extremely improved by death. Doesn't he know that crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Cause you surely don't pay my much for…whatever it is that I'm doing for the company!…Peaches?… Angel?" Spike knelt beside him. Angel seemed unconscious. Spike turned him over to his back and found his whole front a bloody mess. He looked around just to see if maybe the Immortal's boys were back to play with them a little bit more, but he found nothing out of the norm. He turned his attention back to the other vampire lying in a puddle of blood before him, "can you hear me?" There was no response. Spike poked at him.

"I hear you, you jolt head," Angel said with a hurting voice.

"Nice you finally woke up."

With a loud grunt Angel tried to sit up and look around.

"No. Lie back. Your wounds look pretty bad, Angel," Spike remarked, "you need to lay still so you can give a chance for the wounds to close over just a little bit", Spike pushed him firmly, but carefully, back down.

Spike had said that he was a real mess. He didn't need to see his body for himself because he could gather that it was quite bad from the fact that Spike called him Angel and that he wasn't making his usual malevolent comments about him or the Immortal. Instead, he took the remnants of his precious, but already totally ruined coat and tried to wrap it over Angel's largest wound. With no abdominal organs being exactly where they should've been, Spike knew exactly just how long it will take that to heal. Some time similar to his own Sunnydale church fire blunder about seven years back. Angel felt sick suddenly, the pain from the wounds was increasing. His head felt light and he had to struggle to keep his eyes open. The pain kept clouding them over, he heard Spike curse, "you spongy idle headed codpiece! Don't you dare blank out on me! You think I'm going to carry you now? I said you should rest, not sleep you wanker!" And then there was darkness.

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"I'm sorry if my professional approach has met with your disapproval," Buffy said tightly to the Immortal.

"Buffy, you're taking this the wrong way. I'm not personally criticizing you. I'd just…like to spend time with you. And when we are out together I expect you to be with me, not run out to the street to slay a few vampires between dances."

Her voice and body language shown upset now, "you always made out as if my fate was optional. I might not be the only slayer anymore, but here in Rome I am. So I am responsible for the people of this city!"

"I understand you fulfilling your duties but not at every trivial…"

"Trivial?? So mister who knows how old calls ridding the population from bloodsuckers trivial? Look, I'm thankful for how you helped me out identifying slayers with your sixth sense and how you defended me against the zhaan demon congress, but I think we have a slight failure in finding common values."

"That's not what you say in bed."

"Yeah, well, maybe I should stop listening to stupid hormonal rushes. I'm not seventeen you know."

"Hah! You're not seventeen. What is the difference between seventeen and twenty-three?"

"I can't believe you!" Buffy moaned. "Doesn't Xander always tell me not to go out with ancient guys? And I think he had a good point." And then Buffy was gone.

The Immortal smiled behind her, "still got a few surprises for you kiddo."

Buffy knew she needed to cool down. She remembered her first affection (love? No it wasn't love) in college, what was his name? They spend a wonderful night together and a few days later he told her it was only for fun. She felt the same just now. The Immortal was ancient, nobody knew how old he was. It wasn't Spike with his modest one hundred and fifty years or Angel with his meagre two hundred and fifty. We were talking thousands of years now. Did she really think the Immortal was going to fall for an ordinary slayer? He'd met hundreds in his time? Besides, she had to admit to herself if she was going to be fair, that she was only playing around with him as well.

A secret past was one thing, several thousand years of secrets were another. And she still didn't understand just what kind of powers did the Immortal possess. She couldn't trust him. Well, then there was all that Kama sutra, showing her the Dragon, the Octopus, the way he rubbed her clitoris, his electric touch…however, she had enough of the fact that her love life seemed to revolve only around sex. And the arrogance he started to treat her with. At first, she must've mistook it for pride. She felt like burning off some of her frustration with a run and she didn't ignore the urge. She was back at the hotel in no time, but possibly in enough time to witness Andrew's endless evening robe ceremony. He tried to keep to a regular routine for sleep and repeated the same preliminary steps each evening that just drove Buffy crazy.

Andrew was right enough in his evening robe drinking from a bottle of orange juice as she peeked in, "Buffy! You're back early."

"That's very obvious, Andrew."

"Can I get you anything?" the new watcher recruit wasn't just serving her as usual being afraid of her, but he saw the slayer's annoyance and was quite sure it wasn't because of him, it just got directed towards him. He was a good observer, that was why Giles thought it would be beneficial for everybody if he recruited him.

"I could use a bath," Buffy said.

"Of course, you could use a bath, but…" Andrew said hesitantly, "you better do it quickly before your surprise visitors come back."

"What?" Buffy asked irritably. Surprise. She hated surprises wholeheartedly. They hardly ever turned out well. All she wanted was for the day to end, without any more bother.

Andrew smiled at her and looked at her carefully so that he could fully enjoy the reaction that displayed itself on her face, "Spike and Angel were here a couple of times."

She was shocked, to say the least. She opened her mouth as if to ask a question, and Andrew said "oh, I told them you were out with the Immortal…maybe they won't come back now cause they got the picture…"

Buffy's mouth shut again and there was yet more surprise evident on her face. She looked so flabbergasted for a minute that Andrew almost laughed. But he remembered that as soon as she gets herself together and the picture too, he will be dust for not telling her earlier Spike was alive. Or, well, he would be dust if he would be a vamp. That sobered him and he blurted out everything quickly, "okay," he said, "the amulet was actually a portal that transported Spike to Angel's and he's working with him since."

Buffy's face became more thoughtful, but he could tell she didn't really believe him yet.

"Spike working? With Angel? Did you see him in LA? How could you not tell me he was alive and well?" she asked.

"Spike asked me not to."

One surprise at a time was enough, but she had to deal with all of them at the same time. Spike was alive, he didn't want to let her know he was, he was working with Angel, they were both there to see her and they heard about her being out with another guy. A bit much for a girl to take, even if she was the only slayer once upon a time. She stood there silently for a few seconds.

Andrew had the right idea and tried to disappear into the bathroom, smirking quietly to himself at her expression. Maybe he could get away from the slayer's anger if he stayed there long enough.

Finally, Buffy got herself together and managed to catch him by the collar before he played vanished and got her mouth next to his ear before shouting at the top of her lungs, "what do you think you're doing?"

Andrew shrugged, "it's not my fault you know that your boyfriends don't always please you."

Buffy was so pissed off or still just shocked she couldn't answer him. Finally she just let him go, "how long ago did they leave?"

"About an hour ago."

"Where? Did they go back to LA?"

"I don't think so. Kinda told them where you went because they've asked…"

"Right well. I'll go back."

Andrew sighed. He got away with it after all.

Buffy ran down the stairs, determined to find her two ex lovers. There were a hundred thoughts misfiring in her brain, such as Spike, Angel, the Immortal, Andrew, the last apocalypse, her place in the world and they were all mixed up together like some strange jigsaw puzzle she couldn't seem to fit together. Concentrate, she told herself. One thing at a time, as always did in her complicated life. She will have enough time figuring out how exactly she felt about everything once he found them. Did she know why she wanted to find them and if she wanted to find them? No. Maybe so she could believe it was true? Who gave real credit to Andrew's ramblings? This wasn't the way she'd imagined seeing Angel again. Or Spike, for that matter. But if she did want to see them, she needed to act fast. She took her car keys out of her pocket and swung open the door to the parking lot to find Spike just arriving with another car. The blond vampire was driving and he didn't see her, being preoccupied with something. Now it really hit her. Spike was there, safe and sound. Hearing about him was one thing, seeing and believing was another. She could only stare. Buffy saw from a couple of pillars away as he parked the car, jumped out of it and ran to open the passenger door.

Angel was sitting there limply, soaking in blood, his clothes torn. Just the same as Spike's clothing.

The blonde leaned close to Angel, "you art so leaky that I should just leave you sinking! Now you really ruined my coat," he stifled a bit, took a dripping black object away from Angel and dropped it on the ground. He straightened up and ripped his own shirt off revealing his bunching muscles. He quickly folded the shirt and pressed it around Angel's midsection, "can you hold it? Give me your other arm, come on, you vain old baggage!" they made a few steps, "hey, hey, I can hold your whole weight! Don't you go dazed on me again!" But they both ended down on the pavement.

"Spike!" stepped in front of them Buffy, "you? Here? What is going on?"

"Your beloved Immortal blew us up," answered Spike ignoring the other part of the question.

"Imo? Why would he do that?" (How many more shocks are out there for me tonight?)

"For fun," appeared the just talked about individual walking towards them from behind a car, "I came back for you Buffy, but this is much better than I expected. I made sure the calibre of the bomb wouldn't hard them too much. Have got plans with them you know. Hey, what I thought I'd join the rest of the Universe doing just that. In fact, this is just exactly what I hoped for. I'm clever that way. Dear William, dear Angelus, it's so good to see you again! How, may I ask, is the wonderful Drusilla and her grand mommy? I must say, I envy you too. Darla was one of the most professional whores I ever dealt with and Drusilla was one of the most unusual. That madness, in bed is really an asset. And the amalgam of your two women when they are playing the arousal game together! That just makes the experience ultra special doesn't it William?"

"Shut your face!" Spike jumped and gave his best left hander, "what do you want from us?"

The Immortal bounced back from the wall, feeling his jaw, but still amused and pleased with himself, "fun, I told you, fun! What would I want from a long life other than fun?"

Buffy swallowed, "so you hooked up with me to make a practical joke on Spike and Angel's expense? To have fun?"

"Well, haven't you had fun, kiddo? Was one of our so called encounters not the most uplifting experience in your life? Didn't you say that?" the Immortal shuffled with his car keys, "guess not then. Well, arrivederci ragazzi, see you maybe next century? Waiting with excitement who will you choose for girlfriends, cause so far good was good you know?" he moved to open his car.

"I promise you I'll figure out a way how to hurt you, even if nobody knows that on Earth at the moment. And you'll pay!" bellowed Buffy after him, but the sound of the Immortal's Ferrari beat her voice until it faded and revved out of the parking lot.

By the time she got herself together again, Spike was trying to lift Angel up again, "Buffy. Here! We need to get him a proper bandage to stop the bleeding. It can't heal like this."

Spike was concerned about Angel? Buffy knelt beside them, "how bad is he?"

"Bad. We need to feed him, but right now it would just flow out the holes in his stomach. We need to figure out something…"

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Angel opened his eyes to find himself on a bed. His cracked and dry lips parted as he tried to take some air to speak.

The half-breath left in a wheeze and someone said, "you're awake."

Angel nodded slightly, still trying to untangle his mind, "where...am...?" The question was nearly impossible to hear, rasping harshly in his throat.

His companion laid a hand on his arm, "you're in a hotel."

It was Giles speaking. Angel realized that now as the fog started to lift. He was surprised to find him there. First, because he didn't know Giles was in Rome, second because the watcher kept reminding him with his actions how unforgiving he could be. To slacken off his confusion, the vampire tried to sit up. The room spun again and he moaned.

"Lie still," instructed him the watcher, "it wouldn't be advisable to open those wounds again. Buffy and Spike had been nursing you for three days in turns. Buffy asked me if I could take a turn. She shouldn't be too far though. I'll go and get her. She would probably want to know that you came to," Giles stood up and went to the door, "it'll just be a few minutes, will you be all right till then?"

Angel nodded and Giles rounded the corner of the corridor to reach Buffy's room. He knocked lightly and hearing no sounds he opened the door. The room was half-dark, but he could still see the bed. Buffy was lying on her side with her knees up, Spike was behind her, following the contours of her naked body. He was caressing her breasts from the back and kissing her neck. Giles whirled around, but not before Buffy could catch a glimpse of him shutting the door. He paused at the other side. So that was why they asked him to watch over Angel. Maybe he should just go back to him and tell him Buffy was sleeping. He certainly wasn't going to tell him that! Not so much because he was taking into consideration the older vampire's feelings, but more so because he didn't decide yet how he felt about Spike being close to Buffy again. That close.

The door opened behind him and Buffy stepped out in a bathrobe, "something wrong, Giles?"

"No. It's just that I though you wanted to…well, however, Angel's conscious…"

"Oh," Buffy tightened her bathrobe embarrassed, "how is he?"

"Just conscious. Not much better than before I don't think."

"Tell him I'll be there in a few minutes," she rushed back into her room to take a shower. She'll need to take a shower, otherwise Angel would immediately smell Spike on her. She wouldn't want to hurt him just now. Again. It was easy to repay Spike for her fling with the Immortal, she just jumped into bed with her blonde vampire. For Spike, that was enough just now. She also understood now why he didn't call her (because the actress that plays me didn't want to be in the show, as easy as that…), she still wasn't sure she was able to offer Spike what he really wanted. But at the moment, going back to their previous way of co-existence was good enough for both of them. By the way, Spike! She'll need to make him take a shower too, otherwise Angel was going to smell her on Spike! Just as bad. On the other hand, if they both took a shower, just how's that going to take no more than a few minutes? His skin smooth. Hands and mouths everywhere. Soap making them both slippery, skin sliding over skin…

"Okay, love?" Spike shook her out of her thoughts.

"Uhm, I was thinking of a shower…"

"That's a hint, right?"

"No! Spike. Not now. I mean you're having the shower after me, give me a few minutes," she walked towards the bathroom with a sway in her hips, and let the bathrobe fall from her several steps before she reached and locked the door from the inside. It had the desired effect on her partner, she knew, judging from a sharply indrawn breath. There's nothing wrong with a little bit of teasing once in a while.

"Bollocks, Peaches," sighed Spike, "good timing mate. Good timing."

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Buffy looked around in her room. There was nothing but the sound of Spike's shower water running. She was sure she had heard something else while lacing her shoes. There was nothing out of the ordinary to be seen. Nevertheless, she reached for her stake, as usual. They were in a hotel, even vampires could walk in any time. The rustling sound, that had disappeared while she was trying to listen out for where it was coming from, suddenly came back in full force. Only this time it was much stronger, its intensity almost ferocious. Startled, she turned to look towards the window, where the noise seemed to be coming from. From the distance between her and the thing it looked like a cloud racing down towards her window. To a non-demon aware person could look like a flock of birds, flying in a formation or something. But she had made another connection. She saw something similar before. When Dracula visited her in Sunnydale. Stake ready, mind ready against magic. She noted Spike stopped the water running. He should be out the bathroom in a few minutes. Nothing wrong with a little bit of back up.

The thing flew through the window. Buffy ducked, but it wasn't necessary. The creature folded her wings a few feet away, but in front of Buffy. From behind them appeared a young looking woman dressed all in the purest white with her long hair streaming behind her, almost touching her ankles. She was very beautiful, but thin and very pale. She had claw-like fingers and her eyes were opaque just like the colour of the Adriatic Sea when she last saw it just a few days back. At the moment, those eyes were staring straight into her own, demanding, "I was told Angelus was here."

"Who are you?"

Spike stepped out from the bathroom, only wearing his jeans. He almost stumbled at the sight, "oh, shit." Then he got himself together quickly and stormed over standing next to Buffy.

"Who is this, Spike? You know her?" enquired Buffy further.

"You seem familiar, communal vampire. Oh, yes. Circumstances let me believe, if he is here…weren't you Angelus' apprentice?"

"Huh? That, well, yeah…My Lady. This is the Slayer, Buffy. Buffy, this is Lady Mariska."

"The Slayer? Ah, you are trying to have your Slayer quota for this century? "

"Riska…who?"

"Yes, but this is the Slayer that was before the more. Mariska, Buffy. Don't you read the classics? Cuntess…I mean Countess Mariska," he bowed to make the alleged more comfortable after the intended slip of tongue, "was one of Dracula's brides," Spike tried to answer to both women's questions at the same time.

"Was. Don't you even mention that horrible licky fake prince in front of me, young one, cause I'll make sure you'll never be able to utter a word for the rest of your existence," she said in a very threatening voice that sent shivers down both their spines (hard, but apparently doable). She slowly moved closer to Buffy, "speaking of which, I think I'm not mistaking to see my husband's mark on you? People are usually more fazed when they meet me, but if you already met the Count…"

"Look, Lady Dracula, Countesse Mariska, whatever, I'd be delighted to chat here, but I have other things to do. Can we fight now and get it over with?"

"I didn't come here to fight Slayer. And we are not going to. I have no interest in you. Besides, that is to your benefit. And if I remember William's habits well, you are not here to fight either."

"You think you can just float in here?" Buffy lunged forward, but Spike made a hand signal towards her to stop.

"Hmmm…musky!" Mariska sniffed in Spike's direction, "great! But do I smell something even more excellent?" she paused. Buffy didn't quite know if the woman balanced on her tiptoes or was still floating. She made her way over to the door and, using his nose, followed the scent she was talking about. Her keen sense of smell led her round the corridor.

"Somebody is over the top," commented Spike behind her.

"She's like completely ignoring me," Buffy followed her as well.

"You are unworthy for her," Spike explained.

"How do you kill her?"

"I don't. Maybe you…"

"Spike! How?"

"Hard."

"Any more specific?"

"Sunshine and silver arrows, I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I never tried, but a had a few pints with Dracula…in the days of him not so keen on Mariska's flings over there…"

Buffy shook her head. Having Spike or Angel around usually opened the possibility for adventure, but having the two of them together around always created an epicentre of surprises, "Giles. Get out of here," she said, mainly for the books, as she knew Giles wasn't going to leave just like that. Especially not now when it was such a good opportunity for genuine research.

Mariska led them into Angel's room, following the scent all the way, "Angelus! Finally. I thought you were dust. Since I was expecting you decades ago, but of course a few decades here and there don't matter," Mariska cried elatedly.

"What?" Angel queried warily, trying to sit up and looking at Mariska bewildered. He blinked, then blinked again, as if trying to clear his vision. Dazed as he was waking from a coma just a bit earlier, he tried to make sense of what was going on. He flinched at the memory of the explosion, and ran the rest of the events he could remember over in his head, each as awful as the one before. Wolfram and Hart, the Immortal, Buffy with him, the missing head, Spike, Giles' expression. But Mariska didn't fit. Until he remembered he was in Rome. One of his ex hunting grounds, "my apologies, my dear, I had business to attend to."

"Lies! You nasty naughty Angelus! You ruthless, merciless, wayward! You irresistible evil, you vilely yummy ness!" She was still completely ignoring the others, as if over-confident.

"You had shorter hair before," he remarked, just making conversation because now he was confused about something different than a few seconds earlier. Confused about what he should do in the situation that occurred. Play along as how Mariska would remember him, as Angelus?, "it's becoming. You look perfectly attractive the way you are," he gave her that smile.

Buffy made another attempt to lunch into action, but Spike stopped her the same way. Although she wasn't used to taking orders, she knew better than that. If Spike chose this way, he had a good reason to. Especially new soulful Spike.

Mariska pushed back the curtain of her coffee-coloured hair, threw herself onto Angel and held on tight. On instinct, his arms came up to hold her, wrapping around her hesitantly, and suddenly the feeling of deja vu was sweeping over him. Her touch of the injured area also caused him to wince.

"You sore?" Mariska stirred in his arms, and slowly lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him.

"It's all right."

"Uh huh. I can tell," she smiled at him. A sugary, enchanting smile that reminded the other two vampires of Darla, and then she put one of her fingers in her mouth and brushed it along her lips. Then, suddenly she bit on her own finger, her dark blood flowing down her palm. Her tongue darted out and she licked her own finger. She leaned forward to brush her lips against Angel's in an achingly tender kiss, forwarding the blood on her tongue to his.

Angel's eyes darkened and he shivered for a few seconds. He threw his sheets aside, ripped his bandages off and stood up from the bed, apparently in complete health.

Mariska gave him a pleased nod. He then grabbed Mariska, pulled her fiercely towards himself and kissed her with all the passion that was flowing through their

veins. He was now looking into her sparkling, feverish eyes, "thank you my dear. Grrr! I almost forgot how you tasted," his evil voice was the only sound within the frozen silence that engulfed the astonished spectators of the show.

Buffy held her breath, waiting what was to come and fearing the one person she just really didn't want to meet right now. Spike though, was still looking at her reassuringly. If he trusted his poof Sire, there was no reason why she shouldn't.

The flying vampire looked around, "too much hubbub, too much…modern days. I don't venture out much. None of that…how you call it? Information technology? Meet me in my crypt in two hours time Angelus," her voice turned commanding as she hopped onto the window ledge, "bring the blonde childe with you, he is damn good with his hands. According to Flavia, that is. She used to miss him so she maddened me with her cries. Uh, it's been a while since I'd left the catacombs. But right now I like what I see…bring food, but not archaeologists, we had enough of them disturbing our sarcophaguses, " she flew out the window, cackling evilly.

Buffy wondered how that laugh would sound arousing to male vampires.

Angel stirred from staring after the manifestation, he blinked and for several moments there was silence, while Spike had to shove a fist into his mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. He cleared his throat, "an invitation to compete in the Fairy Girl Endurance Test to the Vatican tonight?!" he exclaimed, "ha ha!! So tell me, Poof, what do you intend to wear for the occasion?"

"Good with his hands, huh?" Angel stared to Spike now.

"Who's Flavia?" Buffy asked.

"Was. She's dust. Or was, last time I checked. One of Spike's pets. Flavia Domitilla. Member of the imperial family in the first century. She was banished for her out of the ordinary faith…of course she was a vampire by then…"

"And why is that relevant?" Spike snapped at him.

"Would anybody be so kind and tell me exactly what is going on?" Buffy looked from one vampire to the other and found that both of them had clearly looked embarrassed by what had gone on. That, on turn, made smile faintly, the closest she usually came to laughing. It was a fairly amusing situation she found herself in. She had met some of the vampires' exes before, but not like that.

"We're going of course!" replied Spike.

"You are??" Buffy wondered.

"Certainly! Who wants to miss out on the approximately seven hundred million pounds Angelus left with her for safekeeping? Am I right, or am I right, Seraphimus?"

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The catacombs were astoundingly vast, expanding the dimensions of the whole town and beyond and there still was much more to it than the archaeologists ever discovered. Not even the watcher's given them much consideration, since it was full of religious relics that kept vampires far away. Unless you knew that some of the first Christians in Rome died on the hands on vampires and as such, risen as well.

Angel stepped over some skeletons leading the way. The corridor was reeking of the smell of the dead that made Buffy's stomach turn. Yes, of course, she was used to seeing dead people, but mostly they were not for the most part disintegrated. The passages Angel led them through what seemed more and more complicated as they made their way through under the Vatican, though nobody above knew of them. There existed only one entrance and it was a goodly walk to it. The air was dank and still, like in a tomb.

Angel habitually lifted a little bronze bar from out a box attached to the wall. At a closer look, it resembled a key. He got to the end of a passageway, and pushed a section of the wall away. It was a hidden door. They followed him down to another row of steps. After a quick turn, a rumbling roar resonated in the cavity as the walls shot them in from all angles and they seemed trapped. But then Angel took the key and tried it in what looked like an ancient padlock right in the middle of the wall ahead. Wonder of wonders it clicked open on the first try and the wall slid open. This was where Buffy was meant to wait for the two vampires to come back. If she would've went any further, Mariska would've smelt her. For the plan to work, she must stay behind and only go after them if they didn't return within the hour.

Angel held the flashlight down by his thigh and pressed his heavy feet forward to proceed deeper into the catacombs with Spike. After five minutes of walk they reached sarcophagi decorated with carvings of scenes from rustic life, the harvest and vintage. At times sarcophagi were simply ornamented on the front with wave lines. Most of them were just plain mortal's graves, but there were quite a lot of ancient vampires amongst them. All, hidden and despising contemporary times that could be fairly hostile with newcomers. There wasn't much chance they kept up with the news, but if any of them saw them, recognised them and knew that they had souls now, it all could be a bit dodgy. Mariska was apparently oblivious to the fact, or she just pretended and it was a trap. But seven hundred million pounds or/and the chance to dust some of the ancients was worth it.

They stopped in front of one of the coffins. The only decoration of this, outside of the wave lines, were figures of lions at the edges.

"So, what the hell do you want?" opened the top of it Angel, acting as Angelus would have had.

Mariska sat up and tilted her head towards Angel, "well, I should think that it would be obvious."

"All your lover boys been away too long?" snapped Angel, "I'm not having sex with you."

"I never said you had to."

"Oh, really."

"Sure," Mariska stood up and looked right into Angel's eyes, "you don't have to do it, though if you want your money back…And isn't that what matters?"

"Who said that, hypothetically, if we did this, I'd get the money?" Angel sighed.

"Mmm," Mariska said, testing her teeth out on Angel's neck, gently nipping at his collarbone, "I could promise...I promised you other things before Angelus, did I ever break my promises?"

"No, but this is a different kinda promise," Angel said, "get off, Mariska!"

"Then I'll just kill your precious Slayer..." Mariska turned away and touched a part of the nearby wall, "I might be old, but I don't despise useful technology Angel," the wall turned and behind it, there were several television screens. They were turned on and they could see different parts of the catacombs covered by security cameras. On one of the screens, they could see the staircase where they left Buffy. But the walls were turned on her again and she was properly trapped this time. The chamber she was in was full of some kind of smoke that made the Slayer wheeze. She had put her handkerchief across her face so as to stop inhaling the acrid air around her. She was crouching down on the ground and she could only move her head now. Her eyes were showing a fair amount of anxiety and fixed on the wall through which the two vampires left. She had died before, but this would've been rather pointless. Well, for money, that is. It was so long ago now that she'd been in heaven and so many things she enjoyed on Earth since. And now that Spike was back…

"Comply and you'll get your money and the smoke stops, soul or not," Mariska warned, "I really don't care if you've got one or not. Seen people do many things both ways. So, what's it gonna be?"

Yet again, he put Buffy in danger. Because of his past. He'd better stay away, from her, as he intended. Spike's glare told him exactly that. Humiliated, fuming, he put on his game face. All right, fine, Mariska. Just for now, have it your way, until we figure out something, Angel thought. He rushed over, and they were both on the floor.

Grabbing Mariska's wrists, Angel pinned them above Mariska's head, making the white Transylvanian tunic Mariska was wearing strain at the lines of stitching.

"Not interested, eh?" asked Mariska, slackening under Angel and offering her neck. She'd never been much for being reserved.

Angel bent down and brushed his lips against her skin, feeling the featherlike hairs prickle up in response. It really wasn't that much different than being with a bird, really...Angel's tongue skimmed Mariska's neck, letting go of Mariska's hands.

"Mm," Mariska said as Angel moved lower, "very good. Good boy," she looked up at Spike, "you! Progeny. Undress and watch."

"Frigging…" Spike cursed, but complied.

Angel's smooth fingers dug between her legs. So gentle and slow that Mariska became lost for words. So unlike Angelus. Not necessarily better or worse, just different.

Mariska's fingers slid under Angel's button-down shirt, forcing the buttons out of their holes with gentle slips of her hand as she took Angel's speed. Soon the shirt swung open and it fell off of Angel's shoulders. Angel returned the favour, and they were both kneeling shirtless against the floor.

"Stand up," Mariska mumbled, letting her wings out and sliding them under Angel's armpits, smoothly lifting him up in the air a bit and putting him down on his soles.

For some bizarre reason, this turned Angel on, a sensation of more feeling than remembering Angelus washing out to his toes. There was something sinfully erotic about the entire situation. Mariska was one of the building stones for evil, maybe that was why she brought his demon side out more. And the drip of blood he got from her earlier that day. He should watch it, more so than usual. Mariska's skirt fell and soon Angel's black jeans were also heaped uselessly at Mariska's feet.

"This is ridiculous," Angel said after a moment, more referring to his own feelings than to Mariska's demands.

"It'll be all right, honey," Mariska pushed the last item of clothing down Angel's legs, seeking for signs of refusal. None came, "lovely, sweetheart," Mariska cooed, licking and biting on Angel's shoulders.

Angel whined in pain. Uncertain if it wanted to get away or wanted more, he moved up and down, back and forth. Then he suddenly brought his body into line with Mariska's and pushed in.

"So nice, so nice," Mariska sighed, pulling back, "but this isn't what I had in mind," she pushed Angel away and pointed a finger towards Spike, "I want to watch now. You two," Mariska commanded happily.


	2. Bolt from the Blue

Spike took another look to the screen showing Buffy still trapped and coughing. This was scary. The Angel part more so, than the Buffy part. And ironic. Did Mariska know what she was playing at? From her smirk, she probably knew it exactly. Was there any going around it? He looked at his Sire for the answer.

Angel was watching Mariska. He looked frozen, puzzled. No, his brain said. "Mariska..." He finally managed hesitantly. Looked like neither of them had the courage not to obey. If Buffy died from the smoke, neither of them would be able to give her artificial respiration.

Mariska made no notice of Angel's mumblings. She went over to Spike and it was her turn to pin Spike face down. She caressed his thighs for a few moments before addressing him, "relax..." Then she waved Angel's naked figure over.

When he was already kneeling down next to Spike, they heard another voice, "now, I want you to go passionately and softly for the first while, then I want blood and I want him to scream," the Immortal embraced Mariska from the back and nuzzled at her ears, "but if either of you fails to come, your toy girl will take her last breath…"

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When Buffy regained consciousness, the first thing she noticed was that the room was completely clear of all smoke. The cold, hard stone was scraping against her skin so she stood up. No problems there, she didn't even have the urge to cough anymore. As she got up she wondered for how long she had been unconscious and she took a wary look around. The wall behind her, towards the exit from where they came from was open, so she took the chance for an escape. On the top of the steps an envelope was placed. It was addressed to Angelus, WH Executive. It wasn't sealed so she could swiftly open it. Never even occurred to her she maybe shouldn't read it cause it wasn't addressed to her. Inside, there was a card with the logo of the Immortal's Hotel. And scribbled on it said "11.30 pm. Atrium Bar. Maybe he wants to meet us there to get his money back."

Just then, she heard the already familiar noise of the walls shuffling. As she turned to see which of the walls was it this time, Angel and Spike appeared coming up the stairs.

"Hey! You two!" She addressed them, "what happened?"

The vampires looked up in the direction of the shout, glanced at each other in confusion, then looked back at the slayer.

"Why? What happened to you?" avoided the question and eye contact Angel.

"I was…trapped for a while in the staircase. I don't know if it wasn't just an automatic mechanism…what about you?" She didn't want to worry the two vampires who loved her.

"Umm, nothing," started Spike. He looked down, embarrassed, "it was a trap too. We didn't find anything in there."

"Well, maybe this," Buffy raised the envelope for the two of them to see.

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"Hey, look!" Spike broke their awkward silent walk towards the bar, "this is the bank we want to investigate!" They stopped in front of a large and imposing building with a wide set of stone steps. Above the entrance, a large sign read, "Mancour Key Bank."

"So what?" Angel shrugged, "what will we achieve by looking around?"

"Hey, you never know. Let's just walk in and look the place over," Spike pushed the issue further.

"Walk in?? I suppose we might need to break in at night. Would you mind acting your age for once?" Angel asked.

"Which age? My body's, or my mind's? Uh, and, if I remember right, when you were my age, you were pretty much into robbing banks," Spike pointed to the door, "besides, it says it has a 24 hour service, can't you read?"

"Even if we find the secret account, we cannot find the means to withdraw from it. We need Mariska's code, and her signature," Angel tried to reason calmly with Spike, just for Buffy's sake. Normally, he would've just ignored him.

"Neither can they. They need your data and signature. Or…Buffy!" Spike lightened up.

"Buffy??" Angel was confused.

"What about me?" Buffy was just as surprised as Angel.

"Will!" Angel's expression turned from puzzlement to revelation," you're a genius! I mean, what? I didn't actually say that! So that's why the Immortal went out with her! Yes, we need Buffy."

"Yes, but…how did you know? I thought I will have tonnes of explaining to do while you think I'm off my head. I thought Dracula was when he told me…"

"Illyria talked about something to do with the dark force of Slayers once. I just don't know what she really wanted with that. It wasn't anything to do with the situation."

"Me? Hey! Why is everybody ignoring me today?" Buffy stomped her feet.

"I'll explain later, Buffy," Angel looked her in the eye now, for the first time after their latest blunder with the Immortal, "we need to run to the bar now. We're going to be late. You just take a good look at Mariska."

"Do I actually wanna see her?"

"Believe me, you do."

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They spotted the two antediluvians immediately a few minutes later in the Atrium Bar. They were sitting on simple chairs in front of a small round table in a quiet, secluded area of the bar. As they drew near, the Immortal stood and rubbed his hands together, "ah, good, good. So you've found each other again?" He smirked, "the money is still all in the bank," he said, "please, sit down. Waiter! Bring my guests whatever they're having!" Angel and Buffy indicated a no.

"Beer," Spike said, taking no notice of the askew looks his companions gave him.

"I'm sure you are wondering what all this is about," the Immortal continued.

"Not really," Angel answered, "I'm sure you'd like to show your appreciation to us, just like every other time we met."

"But you're here. You're still interested."

"Seven hundred million is seven hundred million," Spike mused, picking up his beer.

"And it wasn't stolen," Angel added, more for Buffy's sake, "I didn't rob anybody for it, I didn't kill anybody for it. It was simply a result of a crafty system of mines to tap excess profits from some South African diamond mines. The money is mine, I just kinda misplaced it. Of course I was evil back then and it is understandable that I thought that hiding it with Mariska was a good idea…"

"And I'm just here to find out how to keep my promise of finding your weak points," Buffy told the Immortal.

"Well, the money as you must know is still the Mancour Key Bank in a secret account. It now comes to a sum of nine hundred million pounds. I must admit, we tried to use the codes of your Luxemburg account, but it doesn't work. I suggest we just walk in, write in the codes, share and walk away. Fair dos."

"Wait a minute," Angel reacted, confused, "you know those codes? But the money is not missing from the Luxemburg account."

"Well, yeah, what do I do with a couple of million? I have more myself."

"Wait a minute," Spike reacted now, "you still have a couple of million pounds? Why don't you use it?"

"It's Angelus' money. Evil activities, evil money."

"Stuff me if I'd care! You're a warped miscreant, Peaches!"

Buffy could only voice a few "oh"s here and there. Evil deeds here or there, Angel had his millions and he still let her work for scraps at the Doublemeat Palace. How very noble. There was no forgiveness for that. Spike was the one who was there. Spike was the one who helped. He even tried to earn her money setting up a thick scheme of demon nursery. And given that he was technically supposed to be evil at the time, was quite nice. She stood up, "we really should be on our way..." (I can't believe I had a crush on him! Both of them, actually.) Her two vampires hesitantly followed her.

"I can make things either very pleasurable for you or very hot indeed. Remember that when you are deciding what you do!" The Immortal was shouting after them.

----------------

"So?" Buffy crossed her arms and stepped in front of her two vampires, "what is going on? Angel?"

"I'll explain it at the hotel once we get there. It's a long story and complicated just to understand it like that."Buffy wasn't happy with that, "no! Explain it now! So tell me now, what is this all about?""Okay. It's like this," he conceded, "according to some ancient theory, the reality that shapes the lives of millions of beings is not real. Deception offends many people, except perhaps for committed subjectivists, since many people believe that they want to know, or at least have the right to know, the truth, even if it is terrible. For one person, or a group of people, purposefully to keep others in the dark about some truth is to diminish the respect and authority of those people. It is to act patronizingly and paternalistically. In such situations, a few people decide which truths others can handle, and which they can't…"

"Angel!" Spike intercepted, "we went to see the movie in Sunnydale. And that is not actually the point!"

"What movie?"

"Peaches, you need to go out more. There was a movie trilogy called Matrix based on the ancient Homer theory. And I'm not sure why Peaches here is trying to explain the whole conjecture to you. All you need to know that according to this hypothesis, Slayers can act as anti-virus software in the system. As such they recognise viruses aka vampires and demons and have the means to eliminate them. You're recognising them by identifying their distinct codes, consisting of a jumble of moving numbers.. All you have to do is know that they consist of numbers and not flesh. To see reality is to believe it. To bend reality is to believe…"

"Could both of you just stop for a minute?" Buffy asked them, "why don't you ask me first? I am familiar with this theory and Giles trained me how to use it. I can see your signatures. The numbers you're talking about."

"You can??" both vampires asked simultaneously.

"Well, I'm not saying I agree with the whole "we are in a computer" situation, but I see the world in a different way from you. Your number is 697598237, and yours is 89-3846238964. "

"Bollocks. So I'm just a number to you?"

"No, no, no. I learnt to do this, but this is not how I usually operate. In fact, I haven't seen the use of it since I've first heard about it. And I'm still not quite sure why you seem to think this is relevant now."

"Well, you see, according to Illyria…"

"…and Dracula…"

"if a person chooses an important code number, it somehow appears to be their own personal number of which they themselves are mostly unaware of. My bank pin number for the account is 697598237. If I'm not mistaking, that is the exact number you mentioned about me just a few seconds ago. That is why I was so adamant for you to see Mariska again. Did you get the number?"

"Yes."

"Well, in that case, all we have to do is wait for the bank to open tomorrow morning."

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When Spike woke up he found Buffy next to him in bed with a book in her hands, "what are you reading?"

"Guide to the Italian language," Buffy explained.

Spike looked over at Buffy, "okay...say something about me."

Buffy flipped thorough a few pages before answering, "ameno ensanguinato," she smiled, "just joking...I could describe you as amore. Hey! Io desidero fare l'amore."

"I don't think that's correct, but Buffy...you always want to have sex. Not that I mind…"

Buffy was silent for a long moment, "yeah... you're right on that one. But I meant...there's one thing I'd like to tell you in ..."

"What?"

"Nothing... just go back to sleep. It's quite early for a vampire."

Spike shrugged and closed his eyes again, "ti amo," a whispery voice said in his ear.

Spike opened his eyes to see Buffy beside him.

"Wha'?" he asked uncertainly.

"I love you," Buffy repeated with a smile, "I wanted to tell you, you know, in normal circumstances."

Spike's eyes widened. Spike had to admit, he felt pretty good right now with the confession and all. He took a deep breath to try and cool his blood. It didn't work. He captured Buffy's lips in an intense kiss.

Buffy matched him with equal passion. Her warm hands caressed and teased Spike's body, "I love you," she whispered again, just to make sure Spike got the message this time. They were interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"Coming!" Buffy put on her bathrobe once again from the chair next to the bed and smoothed her hair down. Newspaper in hand, Angel was standing at the door.

"Hi," Buffy grinned at him from behind the partially opened door praying he will not use his vampire senses just for the once.

"I've come to…never mind," he turned away. Buffy could tell she wasn't praying good enough. Angel through the newspaper in the door, "just look at that." He started to leave when she walked up to him and grabbed his hand, "Angel don't…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" she said tenderly.

"It's okay. I came to get you away from the Immortal. Not Spike. I actually brought Spike with me. Which, let's face it, wasn't the wisest decision known to mankind. Stump. Besides, I started out with nothing and still have most of it left."

"I'm still sorry. You know, when you bake, you gotta be careful not to burn your food. But I'm still sorry I hurt you."

"Okay. Don't worry about it. We just have to live with it? Get on with our lives?

At least I have a girlfriend."

"You do??" Buffy swallowed.

"I thought that will be the first thing Spike brings up about me…It's not what you and I had. But she cares about me a lot."

Buffy let out a sharp breath, "that's great. It's nice you moved on."

They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like another eternity, then Angel took his hand out of Buffy's, " and . . . Spike. He would do anything, I mean anything for the ones he loves."

"I know."

"I just wanted you to know that I know that too," he turned and continued down the hall.

"When are we going to the bank?" Buffy shouted after him. As Angel just waved, not even turning back to face her and disappeared behind the corner, she stood there for a couple of seconds then returned to her room.

She opened the door to find Spike staring at the newspaper Angel thrown in the room previously, "we are not going to try out a hotel in every country than I take it?" He turned the newspaper in a way she could see the front page news. It said: Mancour Key Bank Bust. Not Even Wages Will Be Paid.

Buffy shrugged, "this hotel room should be good enough for now," she dropped her bathrobe in front of Spike once again. This time, it wasn't only to tease him.

The End.


End file.
